Happy Valentine's Day - the day that many people refer to as the cheesiest and/or cringiest day of the year.
Whether you have a Partner or not, Valentine's Day is especially difficult when you have a mental illness. If you have a Valentine you may be anxious about creating a perfect day for your significant other or you may be overcome with frightened thoughts of not giving them what they deserve or expect. If you do not have a Valentine you may be worried about never finding the right person for you or feeling upset and lonely. This holiday, more than many others makes you realize your surroundings. It forces you to compare yourself and your way of spending the holiday to everyone else around you.
Though Valentine's Day can trigger your anxiety and depression it is important to remember the multiple ways you can celebrate this holiday that celebrates love to its best extent.
Here are a couple tips to help you celebrate the holiday of love in your own unique way:
If you have a Partner:
It’s important to communicate with your significant other and let them know your thoughts and expectations of the day and to listen to their response. Unfortunately, your partner cannot read your mind. By emphasizing communication in your relationship you will be able to learn their love language and better treat them on the day of love. If you are in a relationship feeling secure and safe with one another is important - honestly telling your partner how you feel shouldn't hurt their feelings. At the end of the day, it will be beneficial for both of you to be open and not leave harboring hidden feelings.
As loving partners, think of ways to make the day about celebrating your own unique love as opposed to competing with others. You should think of what you want from one another without it being something that needs to be posted on social media. You should also work with one another's needs - and that may mean doing the holiday on a different day that works better with your schedules. Or if your loved one or yourself are low on funds you don’t need to plan an elaborate date. You can do something fun and personal to your own relationship - e.g. a mini spa day, a walk on the beach at night, or follow a Bob Ross art tutorial.
At the end of the day Valentine's Day is just that - one day and you can celebrate it whenever you feel like it! Be accommodating of one another and understand holidays are just a name.
If you are feeling lonely:
Figure out what your love language is - do you like to be treated, do you like to go out and dance, or do you want to watch a movie with the lights out and inside of a warm blanket? If you do not have a significant other to spend the day with, call up a bunch of your closest friends and make it into a Galentine’s or Palentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is a day about love and you love all your closest pals so why not celebrate with them?
Remember your friends love and care for you without an ulterior motive and they want you to have a good day! Call them up and schedule something fun. You can even decorate your favorite spot with lights, heart shaped pizza, and a bunch of snacks to really set the mood for Self-Love. You deserve compassion, love, and understanding and who better to give it to you than those who love and understand you best!
Here is a link to a love language test!
There are many others out there, so do your research and have fun!
If you are alone:
If you are feeling alone on Valentine's day, remember that this is just a normal Friday that the Consumer market is making profit off of by trying to sell someone a fantasy of one explicit day of love. Do what you would do on a normal Friday - stay off your social medias and just enjoy your You-Time (besides, the weekend is already here!). You can take time to go outside and take a walk, ride your bike, go to the gym, or go to your favorite store, and keep yourself busy with daily errands.
However, if you are in the mood to treat yourself, you can do so - to a Night Out. It does sound like a good night for a bottle of champagne, ice cream, chocolate covered strawberries, and a feel-good movie.
Or you can put on your most scandalous outfit and go out for a fun time.
And if you really want to have a Valentine next year:
Do what Lara Jean Covey from To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before did and send out Love Letters to everyone you’ve had a crush on before and see who responds in time for next year!
Written by: Huda Ismail